~ for one more day ~

Due Date: Wednesday, October 25- "for one more day" For One More Day is the new novel by Mitch Albom, author of The Five People You Meet in Heaven and Tuesday's with Morrie. It explores the question: What if you had one more day with someone you'd lost? Who would it be? What would you do?

Here's a link to explore: http://www.foronemoreday.com/

I lost my mother on March 26, 2001. I was fortunate to have her in my life until she reached the age of 90. I was her only child and she had me very late in life. Growing up, I always worried about losing her because she was older than almost all of my friend's moms. Still, she looked so young that no one else really realized that she was older than the other moms. But losing her was a constant source of worry for me. I lost my father when I was just 16 so it was always me and my mom- just the two of us. Even after I married Jeff, she stayed with us and he loved her, too. I could never imagine that I would actually feel a sense of relief on the day that she died, but I did. She had fallen the summer before she died and fractured her pelvis. That accident set into motion a series of complications that would make the next 8 or 9 months of her life a living hell.

She was small, only 5 foot 2 and barely weighed 90 pounds. She suffered from a crooked spine and osteoporosis. The fall caused her ribcage to become a sort of prison for her lungs and every breath became a struggle. I spent those 8 months taking care of her every need. Her mental faculties were as good as ever. She was a 30 year old trapped in an old woman's body. She loved watching Friends, Seinfeld, All My Children- her "story" and anything else that was current. She would have loved Dancing with the Stars and American Idol, I know.

I know now that I should've gotten outside help but I was determined to keep her at home where she wanted to be... surrounded by the people she loved and loved her. Towards the end, there were days when she would plead with me to help her find a way to leave this world. And there were times that the stress of it all and the sheer exhaustion would make me lose my patience.

So if I had one more day with my mom, I'd like it to be one where she would be free of that prison that her body became. A day in which she could walk in the sunshine, smell the flowers and take a deep breath of fresh air, laugh out loud over something funny, be with Justin and Jessica, the grandchildren she worshipped. And then I'd like to make sure that she knew that I loved her so much and that I am so sorry if I ever made her feel that the end was too much for me.